Coachella

Khloe Kardashian is a good sister by all accounts, but there are limits to schlepping to every celebration when lots of loot is on the line.

Kourtney turns 36 Saturday and she's having a big shindig at 1OAK in Vegas. But Khloe will be ensconced at Coachella, where she's hosting a private party for her new group messaging app called Regroupd.

Khloe's rented out a big house in the desert, where she's expecting 100 celebs, who will be well fed. There will be 2 food trucks -- Coolhaus Ice Cream and Umami Burger.

Beer pong tables are at the ready, as is pool basketball.

Khloe will roam the backyard giving celebs tutorials on her app.

Given that the Kardashians now have more money than God, it's possible Khloe could take a private jet to Vegas after her party.

Jaden Smith and Paris Hilton got all gussied up Friday at Coachella.

Jaden's choice seems ... a little on the frumpy side, while Paris is going for the swank.

So we gotta ask ...

Kendall Jenner got lucky when she was turned away from a 21 and over event at Coachella -- she didn't bother trying to flash a fake ID because everyone knows she's underage -- but hundreds of other teenage scofflaws were humiliated in a series of fake ID seizures.

Festival security busted 354 IDs presented by kids who wanted to score drinks with the help of phony IDs. Although technically it's a crime to flash one, no one really gets prosecuted.

The bogus IDs are actually put to good use. They're sent to the California Dept. of Alcoholic Beverage Control so investigators can eyeball state of the art counterfeit documents.

Chanel West Coast pulled a Justin Bieber at Coachella -- minus the chokehold -- and flipped out on camera when security guards turned her away from a VIP area.

According to our sources, the rapper and "Ridiculousness" star was with her boyfriend and another friend Saturday when they tried to get into the "artist's entrance" area, which of course requires a special wristband.

Problem was ... she had the wristband, her boyfriend had the wristband, but the friend did not. Security wouldn't give in, despite Chanel dropping Drake's name and Young Money (that's her label).

She stormed off, but Chanel tells us she and her friends did make it through the proper entrance a short time later, and partied the night away.

Justin Bieber was kicked out of Coachella Sunday night, but not before he was placed in a chokehold ... TMZ has learned.

Bieber and his entourage walked to the artist's entrance where Drake was performing, when they were stopped by security and told the area was at capacity and they couldn't come in. Bieber and his crew showed security they had the proper wristbands to gain entry.

Eyewitnesses tell TMZ, Bieber argued with security, saying there was no way he could stand in a big crowd because he'd get bombarded by fans. Security wasn't having it and told him to leave.

We're told Bieber persisted and said he was personally invited by Drake and had been waiting all weekend to see him perform. Bieber didn't stand down and security was pissed.

At that point a Coachella staffer came up to Bieber and said she would escort him inside the artist's area. She grabbed Bieber by the arm and began walking him and his security team inside, when Coachella security came up from behind and put Bieber in a chokehold.

We're told Bieber's team got into it with security and the singer was then ordered to leave the festival.

Drake was not grossed out when Madonna planted a prolonged lip-lock on him at Coachella Sunday night ... his reaction was all about lipstick aftertaste.

Sources close to Drake tell TMZ ... he loved the kiss. As for whether the kiss was prearranged, Drake says it wasn't ... the plan was for Madonna to dance around him while he sat in the chair.

Drake says he was not banking on a transfer of the glossy stuff and that's why he blanched.

When you look closely at the video, it looks like whatever lipstick there is it's pretty colorless ... either nude or beige.

Drake fulfilled every young man's fantasy (in 1985) of making out with Madonna, but it's 2015 and he looked disgusted by the whole thing.

Madge made a guest appearance Sunday night at Coachella during Drake's set. She did a few songs and then went in for the prolonged kiss ... as Drizzy just sat there.

Check it out ... it sure looks staged. In fact, Madonna recently said one of her dreams in life was going on a date with Drake and kissing him. That said, he sure looks disgusted afterward.

Bradley Cooper got pretty cozy with ex-GF Suki Waterhouse Saturday at Coachella, and by the looks of it old habits die hard.

Bradley and Suki were together for 2 years, until they split last month. But it seems they were feeling the music.

Bradley also met up with Clint Eastwood, the director of his movie, "American Sniper" ... chowing down on pizza.

Coachella hotness is not just for kids ... check out exhibits A and B.

EXHIBIT A: Alessandra Ambrosio brought the girls to the concert Saturday and left her kids at home. She's 34, and lookin' mighty fine.

EXHIBIT B: Fergie showed off a nice piece of lace as she had fun in the sun. Again, 40 looks amazing.

Justin Bieber plus Coachella equals raging your face off ... is what you would think, but this video from inside a Coachella party is about to prove otherwise.

Sources at the dFm House tell us the Biebs showed up Friday afternoon with a small posse which included Vine star King Bach and headed straight for the piano.

We're told Justin's security asked everyone except a few of JB's buddies to clear a room in the estate. It's unclear what he performed because of the stereo blaring over his concerto ... still Bieber did his best piano man impression for about 20 minutes before heading out.

It's a long weekend and we're sure he will make plenty of time to rage his face off too.

Patrick Schwarzenegger was all smiles at Coachella Friday ... Miley Cyrus was kinda smiling too, but it seems they were in a different zip code.

Patrick was front and center at the H&M party, mugging with a random dude, while Miley was in a studio with producer Mike Will.

Seems a little strange. Coachella is the place we expected to see the 2 of them together.

We've gotten them together 2 times since Patrick's epic Spring break trip to Cabo and they seemed tight enough.

Kendall Jenner is painfully white, and we're not talking skin tone.

Check her out doing what looks at first like the Monster Mash Friday at Coachella. The moves changed, but not necessarily for the better.

Kendall was there with some chick friends ... no trace of Justin Bieber.

Kylie and Kendall Jenner have two words for Selena Gomez -- GOOD RIDDANCE -- because as far as they're concerned ... Selena's the toxic one in their lives, not the other way around.

TMZ broke the story ... Selena cut ties with the Jenners after Coachella because she associates them with all the trappings of Hollywood excess -- drugs, booze, drama -- and she considers them a distraction from her real passion ... music.

But sources close to the Jenner girls tell us, Selena has it twisted -- not only do Kendall and Kylie eschew drugs and alcohol ... they believe Selena's the real drama-obsessed party girl. After all, she's the one who's been to rehab.

We're told things came to a head at Coachella -- Selena had a paranoid meltdown over Justin Bieber, accusing him of hitting on other girls ... and they all had a falling out.

And the Jenners aren't the only ones who've accused Selena of being a bad influence -- as we reported, even Justin blamed their relationship issues on her drinking problems.

Selena Gomez has turned her back on former BFFs Kendall and Kylie Jenner because she wants to focus on what's really important -- MUSIC -- and thinks the Jenners are nothing but a toxic distraction ... sources tell TMZ.

Sources close to Selena tell us, the singer had an epiphany after Coachella last week -- where she was surrounded by booze and drugs while hanging with the Jenner girls, Justin Bieber ... and all the hangers-on that come with them.

We're told Selena's sick of that scene -- so she's decided to cut out what she considers the biggest sources of negativity ... Jenner girls included.

Selena made the cut official, and public ... by unfollowing Kendall and Kylie on Instagram. She also deleted all her Coachella selfies with the sisters.

The Insta-purge continued ... with Bieber and a bunch of others getting dropped -- and, in fact, she's currently following ZERO people.

We're told Selena is determined to stay on the straight and narrow -- focusing on music and, get this ... going to church almost daily.

Makes ya think ... must've been one helluva party at Coachella.

General admission tickets to the annual festival cost around $400 bucks ... but V.I.P tickets -- which we're guessing they bought -- run for $800.

Must be nice.

We don't know for sure if Justin Bieber was stoned Sunday ... who are we kidding, he dropped more than $240 on fast Mexican food -- of course he was.

Justin and crew rolled up to celebrity hotspot Pinches Tacos on the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood on his way to Coachella and dropped $185 on a South of the boarder feast, consisting of:

-- 13 steak tacos
-- 9 chicken tostadas
-- 8 chicken tacos
-- 3 taco plates
-- 1 steak burrito
-- 1 chicken burrito
-- 4 orders of chips and salsa
-- 10 bottles of water
-- 9 Mexican sodas

Justin waited in a Mercedes van while someone from his crew picked up the grub and left a $55 tip, on Justin's credit card.

Ese Pinches Bieber.