Beauty

There is a blonde woman in Hawaii who has a job MILLIONS of people would kill for -- OFFICIAL PAUL WALKER SIX-PACK OILER-UPPER!!!

Paul is in Oahu to star in an ad for Cool Water cologne ... and during the shoot, the photog decided the actor's stomach needed a little more shine.

Enter, the oil lady.

Besides the grease, the woman also got to feed Paul water from a bottle ... and then poured some H20 on his body .. 'cause, why not?

So how does one get that job? If we knew, we wouldn't be here.

Chaz Bono is the incredible disappearing man -- 'cause dude has nearly shed a whole Honey Boo Boo worth of lbs since dramatically changing his diet last year.

Chaz was barely recognizable as he was spotted in Los Angeles today ... walking around in shorts and a pretty tight tee.

Earlier this year, Chaz talked about how he dropped nearly 70 pounds -- not through surgery -- but through sticking to calorie-controlled meals ... and doing a ton of martial arts training.

Chaz's original goal was only to lose 50 lbs. -- so he's clearly blown that away.

Jessica and Kim K. ... take notes.

Ex-beauty queen Shanna Moakler knows all about quick weight loss ... because she just had 2.5 liters of fat slurped right out of her ... and TMZ has the photo to prove it.

Shanna stopped by Elite Body Sculpture in Beverly Hills on Tuesday for some quick body work -- a procedure called Airbrush Laser Liposculpture.

According to the EBS website, the doctor doesn't use a scalpel, but rather a circular-shaped device that leaves a scar that's smaller than a pencil top eraser.

We're told Shanna wanted some extra help tightening up her stomach ... because she's had a tough time getting back into pre-baby shape after birthing 3 kids.

After the procedure, the doc gave Shanna a jar of the removed lard -- which measured out to 2.5 liters of the fat stuff.

For all you metrically-challenged people -- 2.5 liters is equal to 84.5 ounces ... which is almost 3 Big Gulps.

The best part -- after Shanna lost the fat, she raced straight from the doc's office to Boa Steakhouse on the Sunset Strip and woofed down a big ol' juicy steak ... 'cause why the hell not?

Stacy Keibler finally figured out how to replace the hole George Clooney left in her life -- fill it up with thousands of desert hippies at Burning Man.

The Cloon's Lake Como estate never seemed further away.

Just two months after her split from George Clooney, Stacy Keibler trekked into the scorching Nevada desert for the Burning Man festival ... in a very tiny outfit.

FYI -- Burning Man is essentially a massive art festival in the middle of the desert which focuses on "radical self expression and self-reliance."

Translation -- Lots of drugs. Lots of sex. Lots of hippies.

As for Keibler, she attended the event with her rumored boyfriend Jared Pobre (a tech entrepreneur) and documented her experience on Twitter -- including her stop at something called the "Hug Deli."

It's unclear what Stacy ordered from the Hug Deli, there were so many options (warm + fuzzy hug, bear hug, gangsta hug) ... but we know she didn't pay for it in cash -- the entire festival is based on a barter economy.

So, what did Keibler have to offer? We can think of a few things ...

Here's Hayden Panettiere during a beach weekend in Miami with her fiance Wladimir Klitschko.

Mr. Pacino, your thoughts?

Dina Lohan may not have encountered 15 men on a dead man's chest at a Labor Day party, but it sure looks like she found that bottle of rum.

Dina, who played Tennille to a very eccentric Captain -- millionaire Sir Ivan Wilzig -- partied Sunday at Ivan's estate ... which people call the Playboy Mansion of the East Coast.

Several party-goers tell TMZ ... Dina went full bore, slurring her speech and at times zoning out, as she bragged that Oprah was interviewing her today for the Lindsay Lohan docu-soap.

We're told Dina was telling people at the party -- billed as "Sailors and Sinner Soiree" -- she was a good mother. She also said there was nothing ever wrong with Lindsay.

Today is Labor Day ... a time to honor the hard work and dedication of our labor force, and no one is workin' it harder than Alessandra Ambrosio -- and her perfectly sculpted ass.

Joan Rivers fired the opening shot at Lindsay Lohan, but says Michael Lohan crossed the line when he responded by calling Joan an addict ... to plastic surgery ... and she's ready to sue him for it.

TMZ spoke to Joan after MiLo ripped the "Fashion Police" host for making drug jokes about Lindsay. Michael claimed Joan is hooked on needles (i.e. botox) and cutting/self-mutilation (i.e. plastic surgery).

Now, Joan has a double-barreled response to Michael. First, attacking him for even defending Lindsay -- saying, "It's a little late to become a concerned parent."

Then also throwing down a legal threat, adding ... "As for 'cutting' it is totally not true and if he ever says this again, I will sue."

Here's 14-time-Grammy-winner Alicia Keys' (32) bowling over a crowd during her performance on a morning show earlier this week (left) -- and Jim Carrey's character Lloyd Christmas in the 1994 classic comedy 'Dumb and Dumber' (right).

"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"

Here's 44-year-old "The Life Aquatic" star Cate Blanchett at her movie premiere in Paris earlier this week (left) -- and an old scrap of fishing net filled with sea debris (right).

What knot to wear.

Snooki's out for blood ... claiming a rival perfume company jacked her trademark scent ... and she wants at least $2.4 million to call it even.

Snooki has filed a lawsuit against Excell Brands in New Jersey, claiming its perfume called "Snazzy" is a blatant rip-off her of her official fragrance called "Snooki."

The former "Jersey Shore" star says Snazzy is so shameless about its trademark infringement, it even says so on the box ... calling itself "our version of Snooki by Nicole Polizzi." She's not lying.

With his junk firmly tucked into a snug mankini, LMFAO frontman Redfoo ran around the beach in Australia this week ... in search of ... pants, maybe?

According to photographers on the scene, Red also knocked out some yoga on Bondi Beach while shooting a new ad for his clothing line.

Fun Fact -- In Australia, mankinis are referred to as "budgie smugglers."

It's worse than the plague ... Justin Bieber's shirtlessness has now spread to his best friends, and chances of survival are slim.

Bieber's pal Lil Twist -- the guy wearing the Jamiroquai hat -- posted the photo on Instagram yesterday, showing just how bad the pandemic has gotten.

We've spoken to several experts who say it's only a matter of time before it spreads to unsuspecting non-douchebags across the country. Board up your windows.

FYI, the photo is also significant because it shows Lil Twist and Bieber are back on good terms after Twist was accused of battering some girl at Bieber's pad earlier this month ... but who cares!!! THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!!

Lindsay Lohan's looking better than she has in years -- but you can still celebrate all her other ups, downs, boyfriends, girlfriends and arrests she's had ... with LiLo trading cards!

Calm down, sickos -- they're not real. Not yet, anyway.

Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus gyrated, thrusted and she-humped the hell out of the backup dancers at the MTV VMAs last night.

Question is ...