Ashton's Pre-Flight "Bitch" Fight
Reports of Ashton Kutcher's pap popularity have been greatly exaggerated -- by Ashton himself.
Take a look at Kutcher's latest video on his trusty Twitter page (left) to demonstrate the pap "harassment" at LAX -- getting pissed when one of 'em, according to Demi, called her a "crazy little bitch."
Then check out our video of the same scene (right). There are only about 3 paps total, all friendly, one of whom tells Demi to "be careful you crazy little thing."
They say hearing is the first thing to go ...
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A Little Peace for Ashton
In an attempt to turn his contempt towards his "dickweed" neighbor into something comical, Ashton Kutcher thanked the construction workers below his house for putting off their hammering until well after 7:30 AM.
Doing his best John Cusack impression, Kutcher and Demi blasted Peter Gabriel, held up a sign reading "Free Hugs" and even chucked bottles of Vitamin Water down to the rooftop workers below.
Hope nobody complains about the loud music ...
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Burying the Hammer?? -- Ashton Apologizes
With his tail firmly tucked between his legs, a substantially calmer Ashton Kutcher got back in front of his webcam just minutes ago and apologized for verbally bashing his "dickweed ... jackass" of a neighbor over today's early morning hammering incident.
Wonder if the apology will be accepted?
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Ashton Kutcher Rips His "Dickweed Neighbor"
Ashton Kutcher went absolutely insane when he was woken up by a neighbor who
on a house at 7:30 in the morning.
Kutcher got a camera and taped the explosion -- it's an instant classic.
Ashton has been blogging updates on the situation all morning -- here are the unedited highlights ... with spelling errors and all:
-- this SOB owl feces cougar placenta jack bone dick!
-- Jack ass 7am building a goddamn fort next to my house f'in up my view and noise polluting the entire f'in neighborhood with pounding steal
-- holy moly I'm gonna lose it!
-- this ass clown has another thing coming!
-- I'm gonna kill my neighbor!
Demi also fired off some shots on her website as well -- here are those unedited gems:
-- calm and gentle baby you can pull out the paint gun later!
-- baby keep it together there should only be another 5 months of this.
-- the neighbor doing consruction with 6 guys pounding hammers against steel at 7am is no way to wake up!
Neighbor to Ashton -- Butch It Up
The man who is building the house that caused Ashton Kutcher to melt down says the actor is acting "silly."
Bruce Goldsmith, a screenwriter, says he's "startled" that Kutcher went crazy this morning at 7:30 AM, complaining of noise at
.
Goldsmith was quick to point out the city of L.A. allows him to start construction at 7:00 AM, and that Ashton "just doesn't want to deal with reality." Goldsmith says Ashton, who called him a "dickweed," a "jackass" and "owl feces cougar placenta," is "out of line." As Goldsmith says, "they don't make hammers covered with rubber."
Goldsmith finds it somewhat ironic that the house Kutcher lives in was built over a ten year period and neighbors had to deal with the noise.
He adds Kutcher has been pleasant in the past but has complained, with Goldsmith telling him he "can't do anything about the noise." He's been building the house for six months.
Other Neighbor Wars
Demi's Daughter Not a Good Scout
UPDATE: 2:23 PT: We've now confirmed Demi's scofflaw daughter is 17-year-old Scout. Her offense -- illegal U turn.
Demi Moore has just shown up at the Santa Monica Courthouse with one of her daughters.
Demi and one of the girls are in line at Juvenile Traffic Court -- yes, there is such a thing.
Someone in line is cackling, "Hey, there's G.I. Jane!"
In this court, a parent must accompany a minor child.
Demi looks hot with sunglasses on her head. She's wearing a black top and showing some cleavage -- which should help the case.
Fun Fact -- If Demi thought this was a good day to slip into court, she didn't know there's an epic custody case going on there today involving Kelly Rutherford.
UPDATE: Court is now in session and everyone inside -- including Demi -- is being forced to watch a 30-minute video on reckless driving -- which is still better than watching "Striptease."
UPDATE: Demi and her daughter have just left the courthouse and gotten into a Mercedes. We're told they left in the middle of the video. We don't know the dispo of the case.
Maybe Parts of Demi Moore Are 18-35 ...
Last night's Youth Inaugural Ball at the Hilton Washington was intended for young Americans 18-35, so what the hell was 46-year-old MILF Demi Moore doing there?!
Well, someone did have to chaperone Ashton Kutcher.
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Coach Ashton is a Bill BeliChick Magnet
Sure, Ashton Kutcher has coached his Harvard Westlake High School football team to an impressive 4-2 record, he brings intensity to the field, and he helps lure legends like Tommy Lasorda onto the sidelines. But the real reason the guys on the squad like him -- the extra tight ends he packs into the stands.
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Courteney & Demi: Conjoined Twins
Courteney Cox and Demi Moore are like the 40something Olsen Twins.
Although the cougars arrived to a Hollywood event last night looking exactly the same, Demi is actually 18-months-older than Courteney ... for the most part.
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Demi & Ashton As Boring As They Are Beautiful
Married just three years, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have officially become THAT couple.
After traipsing through Chicago in identical outfits this weekend, the Moore-Kutchers further annoyed everyone and finished each other's sentences, raved about how well their youngest was doing in school and talked incessantly about their summer vacation.
When Did He Turn 45?
Ashton Kutcher -- coaching a high school football game in L.A.
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Man Charged in Murder of Ashton's Ex
Seven years after her murder, a suspect has finally been charged in the stabbing of Ashley Ellerin -- who was linked to Ashton Kutcher at the time of her death.
Michael Gargiulo, who's been in custody for several months for a different crime, was officially charged with two murders today -- one of which was Ellerin's.
Two of his attorneys, Elana Goldstein and David Murphy, tell TMZ, "Our client vehemently denies all allegations against him and any involvement in any of these murders."
Ellerin was found stabbed to death in her apartment. The night of her murder, Ashton showed up at her house to pick her up for a Grammy party, but left when she didn't answer the door.
Suspect Named in Murder of Ashton's Ex
Police have used DNA to link a man to the 2001 murder of Ashley Ellerin -- who happened to be dating Ashton Kutcher at the time of her death.
The story goes like this: Back in the pre-Demi days, Kutcher told police he went to pick up Ellerin for a post-Grammy party, but she didn't answer the door. He looked through a back window and saw what he thought were red wine stains on the carpet. He eventually left.
Those weren't wine stains and her body was discovered the next day by a friend.
Michael Gargiulo has been in custody since June for attempted murder of another woman. That's when DNA tests were used to link him to several murders, including Ellerin's.
Gargiulo's lawyer, Anthony V. Salerno, says he has not been charged in Ellerin's murder, but admits he's the prime suspect.
A-Listers Love the House That Boobs Built
Jen Aniston, Orlando Bloom, Sheryl Crow, Courteney Cox, John Mayer, and Demi Moore are seriously ballin' -- and not just each other.
They -- and many many other A-listers -- roll big at Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis' massive palacio, Casa Aramara in Punta Mita, Mexico. Best of all -- it's totally free. And if you were thinking about it for your next vaca - sorry. It's by personal invite only -- Joe doesn't rent this crib out.
Of course, the price these peeps pay is that everyone in the Western world knows you were there.
Ashton to Valet -- Tip Now, Paycheck Friday
Ashton Kutcher stopped to pay the valet outside the fifth anniversary party for Dolce last night. A nice gesture, but not really necessary when you own the restaurant.
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Demi's Hairless Cub
Paging all cougars! This should be your inspiration to go on the prowl. Ashton Kutcher, the bio-chemical engineer major - turned model - turned cub struts his shirtless, flab-free body around the pool while shooting his new sex comedy "Spread" in LA yesterday.
Cougar Demi Moore is one stoked cat.