American Idol

What if you held "American Idol" auditions and no one showed up?! Not paging Nigel Lythgoe!

On Saturday, "A.I." held one of their typical open call auditions in San Juan, Puerto Rico and instead of the usual capacity crowds lined up practicing their awful renditions of tired Whitney Houston standards, according to El Nuevo Dia, only around 300 fools turned out. Ay dios mio! In contrast, last month 7,000 wannabe Taylor Hicks' camped out overnight at auditions held in Northern California.

In other words, don't expect to see a Spanish-language Carrie Underwood album anytime soon.

As we first reported, Lythgoe will spend his time working on his show, "So You Think You Can Dance," as well as starting a joint venture with "A.I." creator Simon Fuller.

Lythgoe sent us a statement, which reads in part, "Due to the huge success of 'So You Think You Can Dance,' my summer will be taken up by travels to South Africa, Australia and Canada to work on local versions of the show. I will step back from my day-to-day producing work on 'American Idol' and will be devoting my time to a new venture with Simon Fuller. I have very much enjoyed my personal and professional relationship with Simon. He is without doubt, a man of vision, and I look forward to partnering with him on new and exciting challenges in all forms of entertainment."

Nigel Lythgoe is off "American Idol."

TMZ has learned Lythgoe, who has executive produced the show for seven seasons, has just taken himself off the program and will not return. No replacement has been named.

We're told Lythgoe felt it was time for someone else to step in. Sources say he's said privately he is "not passionate about it anymore." "A.I.'s" ratings slipped last season, and the show was getting a little boring.

While Kelly Clarkson has played the big people stage at Universal's Gibson Amphitheater -- "American Idol" runner-up Justin Guarini is forced to rock out a free gig on the City Walk.

Carrie Underwood (right) proved "Idol" does give back and spared some dollars to a homeless woman who was not on "A.I." (left) in Beverly Hills on Thursday.

Taylor Hicks was nowhere in sight.

The crappiest Idol performer since forever may think his fame is a lot bigger than his crazazy Mohawk.

After seeing our recent story, organizers of the Plymouth Rox Summer Fest are scrambling to contact Sanjaya to join their show. There's one problem. The obviously tone deaf organizers are having a hard time getting Sanjaya to return their calls! Divatude!

Sanjaya must be too busy washing those 15 minutes out of his hair.

Nigel Lythgoe, the guy who produces "American Idol" and judges on "So You Think You Can Dance," was out enjoying his birthday, planning on a festive night at Crown. His boy Ryan Seacrest even arranged a table for him. Unfortunately the Josh-Hartnett-look-alike doorman apparently didn't get the memo, and Nigel was denied. The nerve!

And in the insult-to-injury department, Alli Sims made it through.

Kat McPhee and Jordin Sparks are performing at the big Macy's Fourth of July Fireworks Spectacular.

Taylor Hicks is doing "A Capital Fourth" on PBS.

And Ace Young is doing the 18th Annual Pigeon Forge Patriot Festival in Tennessee -- where he is the fourth billed act behind Boys Like Girls, Good Charlotte and Metro Station.

And you thought Taylor Hicks' career was in the crapper!

Shaun Barrowes, a top 48 contestant on this season's "American Idol," is begging for a loan online. He's asking for $10,000 "to market a product I've already spent $70,000 on." Where do we sign?

Barrowes feels he's a good candidate for a loan and says, "The only reason why I need this money is because I was on American Idol for FIVE months without any income at all, and that set me back a little."

While the unborn is due next month, if you were carrying Aiken's artificially inseminated, illegitimate, platonic love child -- would you want it to show?

Judging by his melisma-plagued rendition of "I Believe I Can Fly," it's clear he has a future back in stripping.

Hollywood's biggest tipper may also be Hollywood's best dinner date -- because he had to pay up after Randy Jackson left him with the bill!