Cook Won't Kim and Tell!
For someone with such a big voice, David Cook didn't have jack to say about his meat summit with Kimberly Castoff Caldwell the other night when we asked him about it at JFK yesterday.
In other news, who knew that both "AI" Davids -- Archuleta and Cook -- were both left handed? That's just weird, people.
Jeff Archuleta -- Daddy Denial
The "Idol" runner-up's extreme stage dad cost the show serious coin by telling David to change the lyrics in one of his songs, which then got daddy banned from backstage -- but try asking Jeff Archuleta about it.
Ain't just a river in Egypt, my friend.
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David Cook Just Won "A.I." and All He Got Was ...
David Cook asked out former "Idol" star Kimberly Caldwell on live television Wednesday night -- and last night he finally cashed in.
Sorry gals, looks like the only fresh "Idol" meat left is Grade A ... as in Archuleta.
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Swayze, Meet Crazy
TMZ spies at tonight's Lakers/Spurs game spotted this tender moment between Patrick Swayze and Paula Abdul.
Swayze was diagnosed with cancer back in January. Paula Abdul has been wacko for as long as we can remember.
Simon Cowell -- London Calling
Simon Cowell is just as sick of Paula the States as we are of "Idol."
TMZ cameras caught Senor Cranky Pants outside Ago, and he wasn't wasting any time getting the hell out of dodge after last night's finale.
Leave it to the British to retreat.
David Cook Can Sit on Seacrest's Face
It's a good thing David Archuleta didn't win "Idol" last night -- because how on earth would he have driven this beast!
Ultra Motorcycle Co. of Temecula, Calif. made this custom chopper for "Idol's" winner. Even though David Cook might want to use the vehicle to get as far away from "AI" as possible, he'll have the judges along for the ride -- their mugs are painted all over the back of the bike. (Sorry, but that drawing of Randy? A little pitchy, dog.)
And that itch in his crotch? Could be his predecessors on the "Idol" throne -- that includes Fantasia and Taylor Whatshisname -- are painted right on the gas tank.
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Fantasia: I Believe My Man's Wasted
David Archuleta's "Idol" dream wasn't the only thing that got smashed last night -- check out Fantasia's boyfriend!
He looked good coming out of dinner -- but less than two hours later, at the "Idol" finale after party, the guy was completely obliterated, just like Fantasia's career.
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Homeless "Idol" Kicked Back to the Curb
This year's most tragic castoff, Josiah "I Live in My Car" Leming, got another dose of eff-off from "A.I." -- as he was sent packing from the finale after party at Skybar last night.
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David Archuleta: Welcome to the Losers' Circle
Now that little Davey has been crowned runner-up, he joins Justin Guarini, Diana DeGarmo, Bo Bice, Katharine McPhee and Blake Lewis in the long list of names you'll immediately forget about after reading this post.
His one shining hope -- turning out like Clay Aiken. That's dim.
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Cops Tell "Idol" Loser to Shut the Hell Up
Ace Young's singing is almost a crime -- and the LAPD will back us up on that one.
In the middle of Young's performance, the former Idol says cops pulled the plug, citing a "noise complaint." Yeah, that's pretty much just another way of saying "your music blows!"
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David Cook: After the Bell
The sweet smell of victory -- at the Skybar in Hollywood.
"Idol" Pips Out "Iron Man"
George Michael is performing on tonight's "Idol" finale, but he ain't "the biggest star in the world" that Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe has been touting -- our spies tell us, it's "Iron Man" Robert Downey Jr.
TMZ moles say the finale will include a virtual hologram of Gladys Knight singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" with Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Downey Jr. singing backup as the Pips. Holy Nat King Cole! "Idol" did this last season when Celine Dion sang along side a virtual undead Elvis. For the record, Gladys Knight is still alive.
We're told the Jonas Brothers, ZZ Top, Seal, Bryan Adams, One Republic, Jordin Sparks and Carrie Underwood will also perform before David Archuleta (or possibly maybe, but not likely, Cook) is crowned the winner.
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Carrie to Fantasia: How's the Hoopty?
Truth is Carrie Underwood is a bigger star than Fantasia -- and they have the rides to prove it.
While Jesus and a chauffeur took the wheel for C-Wood in a Lincoln Navigator today outside the "Idol" hotel, her predecessor was left to drive herself ... in her shiny blue Toyota.
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100 Million Votes ... for "Idol"
TMZ moles tell us last night's David vs. David karaoke-off received just shy of one hundred million votes.
That's almost as many votes as were cast in the '04 election.
Screw Barack or Hillary, Archuleta for President!
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Crazy Gets to Cast Vote on "Idol"
Since Paula Abdul thinks everyone on "American Idol" is good, she's going to cast her vote for both Davids. Yes, the judges actually are allowed to vote.
Hope she doesn't base her decision on one of those imaginary performances.
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Simon's Self-Loathing
Simon Cowell had to go face-to-face with his meanness, courtesy of a biting interview. So you think Morley Safer did the interview? No. Charlie Gibson? Nope. Ellen DeGeneres? Ding, ding, ding!
Simon thinks David will win -- Cook. The show airs today. Check local listings.