American Idol

The "singer" told his school paper he is finishing up his undergrad degree at Cal State Northridge with the hopes of teaching afterwards.

We think he'll do great in the math world ... we're just sayin'.

Nothing like fibbing for a little sympathy to get a few extra, much needed votes, right?

Bitter: n. 1) One who complains about the length of time spent with a singing coach on a show one was kicked off of more than 5 years ago. 2) Carmen Rasmusen.

Despite the clear definition of the word, the "American Idol" wannabeen went on the attack today, claiming a recent article wrote for her local paper bashing "American Idol" was not penned out of bitterness, just insightfulness. Rrrright.

According to Rasmusen, "The only point I was trying to make was that some contestants get more attention than others."

Apparently, she missed the part where she bitched at length about getting beat out by a guy who spent more time with a vocal coach.

No. She's not bitter at all. She's just a crybaby.

He mentioned he's already in the recording studio ... but it's more fun trying to keep track of how many hair flips he does by the end of the video.

The only way David Archuleta is going to his high school prom is in his mind.

"Idol's" strict rules about not letting the contestants out of their sight on the weekends applies to everyone. So David's prom -- which takes place this weekend in Murray, Utah -- is a definite no-no.

Earlier this month, Brooke White had to skip her sister's wedding because she was on "Idol" lockdown. "Til death do us part" isn't just for the bride and groom!

Whether you really choose to listen to her or not, one thing's for sure: Jordin Sparks' singing career is not over. Not even close.

The alarm was sounded when Jordin had to ditch gigs this weekend because of what was described as a scary-sounding "acute vocal chord hemorrhage," which led to speculation that her career might be ovah! Sparks' rep tells us that while Jordin's condition is in fact "serious," it's manageable and she'll be back on tour in May. All her dates through the end of April have been scrapped.

Not all "Idols" are treated the equally -- apparently some aren't even given a fighting chance, at least according to former contestant Carmen Rasmusen.

Rasmusen was on "Idol" back in 2 aught 3, going head to head (pun intended) with Clay Aiken. She told the Deseret News, most finalists were given "minimal voice coaching," but Clay's coach was on him like white on rice. To add insult to vocal injury, they had the same coach. Carmen says she threw a Hail Mary and hired her own coach, with pathetic results.

She went home in sixth place, to lead a life of obscurity and bitterness.

Fantasia Barrino can now join the long list of "Idol" celebs who have appeared at prestigious events.

She has been chosen to serve as the Grand Marshal of the 81st Shenandoah Apple Blossom Festival. That's great and all, but It's no balloon festival, outlet mall or housing development opening!

The event takes place May 3 in Winchester, Va. She'll have until then to read up on the history of it.

We got him out at Villa, partying past 2 AM -- which would be fine except that he was to report to work on a new pilot at 5 AM. Too much time in the clubs and it could be back to running Bingo nights!

Just days after getting booted from "American Idol," Michael Johns hit LAX, where he gave a skycap a big fat tip ... of nothing.

Johns was polite about the stiffing, but dude -- if you got no money, don't use the skycap!

As "Idol" contestant Brooke White mentioned last night, she must skip her sister's wedding this Saturday because of the show's rehearsal schedule -- but don't cry for her Argentina, she's found a way to be in both places at once!

Brooke -- and her family -- have come up with a creative solution: Michael Johns will go in her place They've built a cardboard cutout of Brooke to take her place. Paging Flat Stanley!

Paula dropped her endorsement outside the Kritik Clothing launch at Lisa Kline last night. It's somewhat fitting, Ryan is kind of a shrimp.

If you want to place bets on "Idol" in Vegas, we think we found a way you could score millions of bucks.

TiVo may have cracked the mystery of who gets kicked off and who doesn't. Company insiders say they can predict who's not connecting by TiVo usage.

Here's the deal. In a sample of 20,000 users, TiVo monitors traffic -- which contestants get replayed (a sign of popularity) and which one's get fast-forwarded.

You think it's bogus? Well, the TiVo system has nailed who got booted four weeks in a row.

And who does TiVo say is getting the ax tonight? Poor Syesha. Take it to the bank, people.

Beautiful Azusa, Calif. is located somewhere by a freeway outside of L.A. and is Danny Noriega's hometown. Also from Azusa, Tony Robbins and Rocky Dennis - you know, the guy the '80s movie "Mask" was about.