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Bert Kreischer's clearing up a wild story about Tom Brady's roast, saying he did NOT have cocaine on him -- like everyone in the arena suspected -- but admits playing it up for the crowd!

The comedian appeared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Thursday night, and spoke about an unaired moment that got the Kia Forum audience jumping -- he showed them a bag full of a white substance and implied he was holding a bit of blow.

Kreischer explains he had a bag full of nicotine pouches, which he put in a clear plastic baggie -- making it look like coke -- and placed it in his pocket.

Police have now ID'd a suspect in the horrific attack that put a woman in the hospital after she was strangled with a belt out in public ... and they've released pictures to help find him.

NYPD shared photos taken from security cameras of the man they believe is responsible for this crime ... who seems to be wearing a similar outfit from the OG vid -- with a durag on his head looking very close to the white cloth the attacker used to cover his face.

In the pics, the suspect wears a GAP sweater and white sweatpants. He's about 5'9", according to cops, and he had a backpack with him ... just like the assailant in the video.

Hundreds of protesters attempted to storm Tesla's factory near Berlin Friday ... and CEO Elon Musk has already called out the demonstrators -- who got into an ugly clash with cops.

German police confirmed they stopped hundreds of activists from accessing Tesla's production site in Grunheide ... after social media footage went viral showing protesters dressed in black charging the factory.

Check it out ... the protesters hold hands as they make their way through the woods and an open field, facing off against police decked out in riot gear. The cops even utilize pepper spray to deter protesters from pursuing the factory.

Zedd is saying sayonara to one of his Los Angeles area homes ... as he sold the mansion for a pretty penny, TMZ has learned.

The DJ officially parted ways with the 6-bedroom Encino estate, with the sale going through on Thursday for $17,125,000 ... which means he's pocketed a fair amount in the sale, 'cause he bought for quite a bit less a few years ago.

While this is over a million less than his original asking price of $18,999,000 ... Zedd is still walking away in the black, as he nabbed the property from Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner in 2021 for $15.2 million.

Martin Scorsese might have the follow-up to his classic "Raging Bull" ... 'cause apparently, he's living with a raging dog -- one that maimed his longtime collaborator.

Paul Schrader -- a legendary Hollywood screenwriter and director -- spoke with Variety to promote his new flick "Oh, Canada," and revealed he had a fearsome run-in with Marty's dog which pulled a move worthy of a "Goodfellas" gangster.

The way Schrader tells it ... he went over to Scorsese's crib in December for dinner -- and, when he went to pet a little Scottish terrier, it went full Cujo and bit him, ripping off and eating part of his thumb!

The FedEx driver who carelessly tossed over a dozen packages into his truck has been fired by the delivery giant ... after Dana White captured the incident on camera before posting it on social media, where it went viral!

In case you missed it, White was being chauffeured in the Big Apple on Tuesday when he saw the delivery man throwing box after box ... as if he was Steph Curry shooting jump shots.

"FedEx. We'll get your shit there, but we'll f*** it up," White said. "My boy don't give a f***." While Dana and many others online found the video comical, FedEx didn't.

Oprah Winfrey is acknowledging the role she played in toxic diet culture -- and she's now trying to rectify that ... by embracing weight loss drugs.

The talk show legend opened up about her influence in the weight loss industry during a 3-hour live special for WeightWatchers this week -- and she owned the fact that she'd been feeding into this unhealthy trend for quite literally years.

Oprah says ... "I want to acknowledge that I have been a steadfast participant in this diet culture. Through my platforms, through the magazine, through the talk show for 25 years and online. I’ve been a major contributor to it."

The 45-year-old man who stole and destroyed a Jackie Robinson statue in Kansas pled guilty on Thursday to multiple charges, including theft, and is now facing over 19 years behind bars!

Remember, the large Jackie statue was stolen on January 25 from a youth baseball park in Wichita, KS ... only to be found burned and destroyed days later at a nearby park.

Multiple people were captured on surveillance video taking the statue, but only one person, Ricky Alderete, has been arrested and charged.

John Mayer's pissed a journalist asked his pal Andy Cohen if he and John are hooking up -- calling the question demeaning to Andy, himself and the general public.

John put all his emotions down in an open letter to The Hollywood Reporter's co-editor-in-chief, who conducted the interview with Andy -- and in it, he says, "To suggest that people are dubious of a friendship like mine and Andy’s is to undermine the public’s ability to accept and understand diversity in all facets of culture, be it in art or in real life."

ICYMI ... THR told Andy, fans are "dubious" of his friendship with Mayer -- in other words, people think they're banging. Andy responded, "I honestly love John Mayer, and he loves me. But because we are so affectionate to each other, people don’t know what box to put that in." He also flatly denied they're sleeping together.

10:30 AM PT -- It happened -- Shaquille O'Neal just took his beef with Shannon Sharpe to the mic ... dropping a diss track amid their internet feud.

Forget Drake and Kendrick Lamar, there's a new beef taking over -- Shaquille O'Neal vs. Shannon Sharpe ... with the NBA legend sending shots at the NFL Hall of Famer for claiming he's "jealous" of Nikola Jokic.

Kimora Lee Simmons says she felt a "little embarrassed" when she saw pics of her 21-year-old daughter kissing a 65-year-old ... especially because she feels like Aoki got played.

We caught up with the fashion mogul Thursday in NYC, and asked her all about Aoki's short-lived tryst with restaurateur, Vittorio Assaf -- she doesn't think it was ever a real relationship, and even referred to him as just a toad Aoki kissed.

KLS adds she feels her daughter was set up ... and, while she doesn't exactly come out and say what she means by that, she certainly implies the vast age difference screwed with her daughter's head.

Abby Lee Miller is blaming her time behind bars for the reason she's confined to a wheelchair these days ... suggesting she was punished for her celebrity status.

The "Dance Moms" star stopped by Bethenny Frankel's "Just B" podcast ... where she touched on her time in prison, having previously been convicted of bankruptcy fraud. As Abby put it ... she wasn't able to get access to her meds while incarcerated, allegedly on purpose.

Abby says she was "punished" in prison -- adding that's why she is now in a wheelchair. She says ... "That's why I'm in a wheelchair, because in prison I was punished and taken off all my medication, cold turkey."

There's a new 'Lord of the Rings' movie coming out that's all about Gollum -- and amid the news, a famous short film about it got yanked ... only to be revived on YouTube a day later.

A viral short film called "The Hunt for Gollum" -- which got uploaded to YT about 15 years ago -- has been praised among Tolkien fans for years as a stellar piece of fan fiction and art, which while not sanctioned by Warner Bros., still held its own and looked damn good.

On Thursday, WB announced they were making a brand new installment to their film franchise with the same title -- which led to the short being taken down on a copyright claim ... but it seems Warner has backed off, 'cause about 12 hours or so later, it's up again!

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are unfazed by the flak she's gotten over missing her hubby's Invictus Games anniversary ... zipping on over to Nigeria, and putting on big smiles.

Per the Daily Mail, the couple quietly reunited Thursday at London's Heathrow Airport before taking off on their unofficial royal tour. Meghan was noticeably absent from her husband's stop in London though, where he celebrated the 10th anniversary of his charity.

Nonetheless, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex weren't apart for long ... as MM and PH reportedly linked up at Heathrow's VIP Windsor Suite before grabbing a flight to Nigeria's capital, Abuja -- where they were invited by the country's Chief of Defense Staff.

Either someone was REALLY excited about the Mavericks' big win, or they forgot to clear their phone of some freaky content before Luka Doncic's postgame interview ... 'cause loud sex noises interrupted the whole presser -- and the NBA superstar's reaction was priceless!!

The hilarious moment went down just seconds into the Dallas baller's Q&A following the Mavs' Game 2 victory against the Oklahoma City Thunder on Thursday ... when out of nowhere, moaning rang through the room.

Doncic's eyes got super big and he put his head down to cover his face as a reporter said, "Okay, umm ... okay, moving on."

Justin Bieber's mom, Pattie Mallette, is over the moon about her son's huge baby announcement -- but she's even more excited about becoming a grandma.

Mallette posted a video Thursday, mere hours after Justin and his wife, Hailey, broke the news they're preparing for their first child.

The famous couple kissed and embraced as Hailey showed off her baby bump in a wedding gown. Other images showed Justin snapping photos of his pregnant wife.