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Nassau County chiefs want their residents to kick each other's balls if they must, but don't you dare go touching them ... tennis balls, that is. Hey, no giggling!

That was pretty much how it sounded when County Executive Laura Curran gave a rundown on how Nassau was going to navigate reopening tennis courts there, and what the new regulations would be when handling one another's balls. Again ... tennis balls.

In fact, you can tell Curran was trying her hardest to get the word "tennis" in there each and every time she mentioned "balls," but eventually she slipped ... and let a free ball run loose in her spiel, saying folks can kick other people's balls (back over to the owner if they happen to roll on over, is what she meant), but there is to be no touching of said balls!

That got a nice chuckle from the crowd who was listening, and finally ... Curran herself cracked up as well. She said she was gonna blush and again made another balls reference that got another giggle from just about everyone. Who says we outgrow sophomoric humor?!

This is the greatest balls moment since the 'SNL' classic ... of course, we're talking about Alec Baldwin's famous "Schweddy Balls" skit, where then too, it was balls galore.

Two Kansas City cops now face criminal charges in the alleged assault against a transgender woman ... this as video of the incident has surfaced.

It happened a year ago this month, but the video has just been released.

A woman near a beauty supply store recorded the confrontation. You see one of the officers knee the woman in her face and ribs. At one point her face is slammed into the concrete.

She apparently got into a dispute inside the store, and police responded to several 911 calls, one placed by the transgender woman. The cops in question claimed she was resisting, which is why they used force. She was arrested for disorderly conduct, trespassing and resisting arrest, along with drug paraphernalia possession.

The P.D. investigated and concluded the cops did nothing improper ... this according to the police union. Prosecutors then brought the case to the grand jury because they were stymied ... saying the police department was not cooperating with its investigation by turning over key documents. Prosecutors took the case to the grand jury, which indicted the 2 cops on assault charges. Both officers are now on desk duty.

The woman has since died after being shot and killed in an unrelated incident.

The case has caused tension in the city ... the woman is African-American and the officers are white. The lawyer for the woman's family, David Smith, says the case was botched by police and he's calling for the resignation of the Police Chief, adding, "You don't treat this woman like a piece of trash because you think she's a freak."

An E.R. doctor, who goes by Dr. Bill, is irate that the federal government is spending millions of dollars on Blue Angels flyovers while medical workers have to wear painters masks and the hungry go without food ... and he says it's all to make President Trump look good.

Dr. Bill didn't say where he works, but he's pissed at the flyovers by the Blue Angels and Thunderbirds, which salute health care workers in various cities.

The doc says it costs $450k for one Blue Angels flyover and another $450k for the Thunderbirds. The Air Force and Navy pilots have been buzzing various cities, drawing big crowds from below, but Dr. Bill says it's a shameful waste of money.

He holds up a painters mask with contempt, noting they don't provide nearly the protection of the scarcer N-95 masks. He's also ticked off some of the essential services that could be funded in lieu of flyovers.

Megan Fox is getting chummy with Machine Gun Kelly ... and it's just the latest sign there might be trouble at home.

The actress was spotted with MGK Friday grabbing some coffee and grub to-go near L.A., then hopping in his whip and leaving together -- presumably back to her place in Calabasas, or so we've been told. They seemed super friendly in the car ... and super caj.

It's just the latest sign that something's probably amiss with Megan and her husband, Brian Austin Green, whom she married in 2010. Meg's recently been seen not wearing her wedding ring ... ditto for him. Reports say they're even living separately during quarantine.

Their relationship has famously been on and off throughout the years -- they once called off their initial engagement before getting back together and finally pulling the trigger. Megan also once filed for divorce a few years back, but they got back together yet again.

Megan and Brian made a red carpet appearance together late last year -- the first time they'd done so in a while. They share three children together ... all of them are young.

Hope Solo claims some gun-toting maniac shot one of her dogs Wednesday night -- but the good news, the pooch survived the attack.

It all went down North Carolina, where the former Team USA soccer superstar lives with her husband, ex-NFL player Jerramy Stevens.

"Our magnificent dog Conan (brown, on the far left) is in critical condition after being shot last night," Hope says.

"It’s hard news to share, but harder to make sense of this heinous act."

"Jerramy and I are shocked and heartbroken, but we want to say thank you to Wilkes Veterinary Hospital and their staff for rushing Conan into emergency care, as well as their COVID-19 care practices."

We're reaching out to police to find out what the hell happened and if they've identified a suspect.

In the meantime, Hope is optimistic about Conan's chances -- saying, "We‘ve heard that there are developments in canine prosthetics and would love any information about getting Conan a new front leg!"

Get well, Conan!!!!

Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Ed Oliver Jr. was arrested Saturday night for Driving While Intoxicated ... and to make things worse, cops say he was also illegally carrying a GUN in his truck.

22-year-old Oliver was stopped in Montgomery County, Texas at around 9 PM after someone called 911 and said the truck Oliver was driving was swerving dangerously close to a construction zone.

When Cops approached Oliver -- who was driving a Ford Super Duty pickup truck that was hauling a trailer with a dune buggy -- they say the NFL player had an open can of beer between his legs ... not a great start.

Then he allegedly bombed a field sobriety test -- which included standing on one foot.

During a subsequent search of Oliver's vehicle, cops say they found a pistol.

Oliver -- the 9th overall pick in the 2019 NFL Draft -- was arrested for DWI and unlawfully carrying a weapon.

Cops say he was taken to a local hospital for a blood draw to get his blood alcohol level before he was ultimately taken to jail.

We reached out to the NFL players rep for comment ... so far, no word back.

Oliver was a 3-time 1st team All American in college during his days at the University of Houston.

Sofia Richie is Disick-free ... or so it seems, because she's been hanging out with a new dude day after day after day.

Sofia's been staying at a Malibu mansion over the last 3 days at the beach house owned by a guy .... a guy people seem to think Sofia's now dating.

Sofia and Scott have been dating for 3 years, and there have been some bumps along the way, but this time she may have actually moved on.

As we reported, Scott checked into a rehab facility earlier this month but bailed a day later after it appears someone took a photo of him at the front desk. Scott's lawyer, legal pit bull Marty Singer, believes a staff member from the facility took the pic and has threatened legal action.

There were reports Scott had checked in for alcohol and cocaine, but his people insist that's not the case, saying he was there because he hadn't dealt with the grief over the death of his parents. He has, however, struggled with alcohol and drug abuse and has had several stints in rehab in the past.

Maybe take this as a sign of hope, that things can slowly get back to some sort of normal, because some of the folks in Wuhan, China -- where the coronavirus first spread -- are once again able to enjoy themselves with a night of relatively safe dancing.

More than 100 people gathered in the middle of the city Saturday night and it was choreographed for the times -- everyone was spaced 6-feet apart and it seems everyone was wearing a mask.

It's something of a tradition in Wuhan ... mass dances at night. The music ranges from EDM to Japanese pop ... even a little square dancing is mixed in.

Pop Smoke's murder remains unsolved, and the coronavirus pandemic is doing detectives no favors ... severely hindering progress in the investigation.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... response to COVID-19 and related issues has been LAPD's top priority the past 2 months, meaning less time and resources available to focus on the rapper's killer.

When detectives are able to investigate, we're told they still try to go out and safely speak face-to-face with people in an attempt to gather evidence ... but that's been a challenge already in this case.

As we first told you ... cops were running into witness issues in the case, as people were either refusing to talk about Pop's death or providing unreliable info.

On a more positive note ... our sources say investigators are hoping the rapper's upcoming posthumous debut album will renew interest in the case, get people talking, and drum up tips and new leads.

TMZ broke the story ... Pop Smoke was gunned down in February at a house owned by 'RHOBH' star Teddi Mellencamp.

It appears the murder was a targeted hit and not an armed robbery gone awry, but law enforcement's still puzzled over the motive.

Greatness comes at a price, but Michael Jordan greatness? That's more like the cost of a house down payment -- just ask the person who now owns MJ's cleats.

The folks over at Heritage Auctions sold a pair of size 13.5 baseball cleats worn and signed by His Airness when he played for the Chicago White Sox's minor-league affiliate, the Birmingham Barons. The total cost ... a whopping $93,000!!!

MJ signed the cleats in bold silver ink. Legend has it ... the shoes were a gift from Michael to a White Sox announcer. The shoes were then obtained at MLB pitcher Jeff Reardon's Leukemia Charity Golf Tournament in 1995. The shoes come with a handwritten note from Reardon acknowledging the cleats are authentic.

As for the shoes, MJ -- whose first love was actually baseball and not basketball -- wore them during his short-lived campaign to reach the Major Leagues in 1994. You can clearly see the Air Jordan Nike cleats have incredible wear, with dirt and scuffs throughout. The Nike logo inside the heel is nearly worn off.

As we've reported ... tons of MJ memorabilia has hit the auction block, from a game-worn Bulls jersey to a $15k check Jordan signed over to Donald Trump's Indiana casino.

Mark Zuckerberg's looks are something to like and comment on!

Here is a 20-year-old version of the cofounder of Facebook proudly showing off his brains over brawns only 3 months after launching FB outside of Eliot House at Harvard University in Massachusetts (left).

And, 16 years later ... the father of two human daughters with his human wife Priscilla Chan -- who celebrated his 36th Earth years birthday earlier this week -- was photographed showing positive emotions and good eye contact while in Brussels for a business meeting earlier this year (right).

His timeline is updated.

The question is ...

Jorge Nava wants to get back to what he knows best, cultivating marijuana ... even though he just did hard time for having nearly 300 pounds of green!!!

The "90 Day Fiance" star tells TMZ ... growing ganja has always been his passion, and he wants to return to his roots. Jorge admits it might be tougher to find work in the medicinal marijuana field being a convicted felon in Arizona.

Still, if opportunity knocks, he tells us he'll jump at the chance to make some money ... with the blessing of his parole officer, of course.

Jorge was busted for allegedly trying to sell 293 pounds of weed and served a 2 and a half year prison sentence.

Jorge did use some of his time behind bars for good ... telling us how he was able to shed a whopping 128 pounds, despite some terrible prison food.

Is UFC star Henry Cejudo -- a 33-year-old champion in his prime -- actually retiring?!

The answer is a big hell no ... if you listen to his friend and manager -- Ali Abdelaziz -- who tells TMZ Sports there's no way he can see Triple C hangin' up his gloves.

"Do I think Henry's gonna retire? Absolutely not. I don't think Henry's gonna retire."

Remember, Cejudo TKO'd Dominick Cruz -- considered the greatest bantamweight of all-time -- at the end of the 2nd round at UFC 249 last weekend. During his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan, Cejudo announced he was retiring from the sport.

But, Abdelaziz says a lot of fighters have the urge to walk away right after going to war in the Octagon ... but that quickly fades.

"Khabib, every time he fights, 'I think I'm done,'" Ali says ... "2 weeks later, 'Who you think I should fight next?' Because these guys are at their prime. Henry's coming into his prime. How you gonna retire in your prime?"

Matter of fact, Ali believes Cejudo will not only fight again ... but it'll happen sometime over the next 3-4 months.

"Henry has everybody on their knees right now. I don't think he's gonna retire. You're gonna see him fight by the summer."

Question is, who will Cejudo take on next?

Triple C and boxer Ryan Garcia recently beefed online, and T.J. Dillashaw -- who comes off his drug suspension early next year -- has been crystal clear in his desire to avenge his Jan. 2019 loss to Cejudo.

But, Ali says that ain't happening ... ever.

"Henry will never fight T.J. I don't think any clean athlete should ever fight T.J. Dillashaw. The man cheated for a long time."

Abdelaziz continued ... "If you cheated this long, you think you're gonna come back and get a title shot? It doesn't even make sense."

"Henry for sure will never fight him. I know that for sure. Cause he beat the man while he was on the juice. Why's he gonna fight him?

The record just scratched on Eric Prydz's marriage ... his wife wants a divorce.

The famous Swedish DJ's wife, Sofie, filed for divorce on April 27 in L.A. citing irreconcilable differences. Eric and Sofie were married for nearly 5 years and have 2 kids together ... a 9-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son.

They got married on July 17, 2015 and she lists February 20 as the date of separation ... according to docs obtained by TMZ.

Sophie's asking for joint legal and physical custody. As for spousal support, she's asking for it, and wants the court to enforce the terms of their prenup.

Prydz -- who's known as Pryda and Cirez D professionally -- made headlines in March when he claimed the only solution for the coronavirus pandemic was for all healthy people to get it, and suggested staying at home was misguided.

Yeah, he really said that, and got blasted by health workers. Prydz later apologized

He rose to fame with his 2004 single, "Call on Me," and went on to rack up hits with "Proper Education" and "Pjanoo" in 2008. He released his debut studio album, "Opus," in 2016, and won the Electronic Music Awards DJ of the Year in 2017.

Prydz also owns multiple record labels -- Pryda, Pryda Friends and Mouseville Records ... so splitting up assets in the divorce could get interesting.

Hidden within this super stretched out snap is one of the highest-paid models around. This famous face has been featured in big campaigns with brands such as Marc Jacobs, Calvin Klein, Estée Lauder, Balmain, and many more!

Not only does this sexy star walk the runway but she has also been a well-known reality television star for the last 13 years, alongside her famous family.

Martin Shkreli will have to finish out the rest of his sentence behind bars -- despite wanting out over coronavirus concerns -- 'cause he's a picture of health, and letting him out would make zero sense ... so says a judge.

The incarcerated pharma bro just had his petition for a compassionate release due to COVID-19 shot down by a NYC court, which basically told him every criteria he technically needed to possibly get sprung early just didn't fit his situation whatsoever, and obviously so.

In court docs, obtained by TMZ, the judge says his correctional facility -- FCI Allenwood Low in Pennsylvania -- has zero confirmed cases between the inmates and staff. So, right off the bat ... the court says Shkreli has no reason to be concerned about contracting it yet, and more importantly ... no reason to ask for a premature release -- as it's just not there.

Furthermore, the judge says he doesn't have any underlying conditions that warrant him being released early, despite recent claims that he does. The court notes he takes Claritin for seasonal allergies, but that's about it. Shkreli recently tried alleging he had asthma and that made him more susceptible, but the judge calls BS ... saying that's likely a lie.

Then comes the nail in the coffin, with the court saying even though Shkreli has claimed he wants out to help find a cure for COVID-19 -- he worked in pharmaceuticals, so sure ... Hail Mary -- the court seems to agree with the Probation Dept.'s scathing rebuke.

They wrote of his claim of finding a cure that has "so far eluded the best medical and scientific minds in the world working around the clock" is the type of "delusional self-aggrandizing behavior" that precipitated the offenses was convicted for, per legal docs. The court didn't refute that, adding his altruistic intentions aren't enough to cut him loose.