Rich Homie Quan -- Dramatic Boat Escape Is a Lie!!!!

There is no Santa Claus, aliens aren't real and Rich Homie Quan did NOT escape in a speedboat from the scene of an alleged assault ... so yeah, everything you've ever believed is pretty much a lie.

RHQ is still a wanted man in Miami Beach, FL for allegedly decking a security guard who didn't let him into a club. According to the police report, Quan "fled east towards the dock where he boarded a boat in Dock 14 and took off."

But people who were on the boat tell TMZ, that didn't happen. We're told RHQ did indeed board a yacht ... but that he partied there for at least an hour, in plain view, before taking off.