Charlie Sheen -- DCFS Says He's a 'Self-Absorbed' Phony

Charlie Sheen is a self-absorbed, psychologically screwed-up parent who is quick to blame others for the plight of his twins, but unwilling to step up to the plate ... so claims the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services.

DCFS sources tell TMZ ... they're pissed that Charlie is hurling grenades at everyone involved in the mess that has become his family -- calling Brooke Mueller a "whore," the judge an "anus brain" and DCFS "incompetent and lascivious."

Our DCFS sources -- who work in the trenches -- say Charlie has NEVER made a real move to take custody of Bob and Max. As one source put it, "He cares more about his drugs and porn stars than he does the kids."

There seem to be 2 schools of thought at DCFS -- one is that Charlie is so psychologically screwed up and angry that he should never have the kids, and the other that he has never given the Dept. the chance to take a serious look at him as a custodial parent.

Either way ... DCFS -- not fans.

5:55 PST -- Charlie just tweeted this picture saying "a day of miracles on a field of dreams ... hashtag a real modern family."