Charlie Sheen -- The Judge Who Jails Me Is a Fat, Dishonorable Douchebag

Charlie Sheen is scoffing at Brooke Mueller's team, which is trying to nail him for talking about Brooke on TMZ, saying, "If this is what they want, bring it 'cause I'll burn the house down."

Charlie is reacting to our story, in which we reported Brooke's team will ask a judge to sanction him for allegedly violating the gag orders in the custody and guardianship cases. Charlie called Brooke an evil whore -- among many other things -- who has done great damage to their twins.

Charlie is especially angry Brooke is getting her first overnight visit with the twins since she went to rehab. He tells TMZ Live his security guards will stand outside her house tonight and barge in if there's a sign of trouble.

Charlie tells TMZ, "Really, they're going to jail me for telling the truth"

And get this ... Charlie says, "If I actually go to jail for talking, I'll do interviews in jail," adding, "The only person more idiotic than Brooke in this case is the judge. The Dishonorable Judge Douchebag."

But wait ... there's more. Charlie says, "He [the judge] wants to put me in jail for trying to save my boys? Go for it, fatty. I'll eat his lunch from jail." And one more thing about the obviously large judge, "One meal he could afford to miss."