Bud Bundy: I'll Sign Anything ... But That!

David Faustino has no problem selling autographed pictures of himself on eBay -- just don't ask him to sign a copy of his own police report.

A big "Married with Children" fan contacted Faustino and asked him if he would sign the actual report from when Faustino was popped for pot possession last year.

Faustino emailed the guy back saying, "If you are a true fan, you're telling me that this is the item you want signed? Not a photo or script? But, rather a negative newspaper article? OK, I will sign it for a fee of $500 and give the proceeds to my charity OXFAM."

Needless to say, the guy passed.