R. Kelly -- Mole Will Keep Me Outta the Hole

Could a skin doc end up saving R. Kelly's hide? Looks like it, since his lawyers are basing pretty much his entire defense on one mole – the dark, irregularly-bordered kind.

The pisstastic singer's trial finally began yesterday, and openings were just as lurid as the tape at its center. The defense claims that the guy in the video doesn't have a mole, but Kelly does. Maybe the most shocking moment came when the defense claimed that the woman in the tape was a prostitute: "[The alleged victim is sweet and nice," said Kelly's lawyer. "The woman in this tape is a prostitute."

Among other interesting sexual curiosities, the girl calls the man in the vid "daddy" and he apparently pays her at the end.

Jessica Alba got hitched yesterday to Cash Warren, but she apparently forgot to tell her own bro.

"My sister!? I'm going to have to call her!" said Josh Alba when Us called him to ask about the good news. Awkward. Jess and Cash, reports People, went to the Beverly Hills courthouse and did the deed in the building's ceremony room. They got their license and then waited for 40 minutes to make it legal.

Josh wasn't exactly thrilled to hear the news. When asked about Warren's prospects as a husband, he replied, tepidly, "Well, he's my brother-in-law now!"

Britney Spears' dad Jamie has quit being a cook and is getting $10K per month for looking after the Britwreck, according to new court papers.

And because he had to give up his former job as a private chef, he's entitled to $10,000 in back pay to cover the first month of his co-conservatorship of her estate. "He has been unable to continue to his prior employment and he has lost his source of income which he needs to pay his living expenses," say the docs.