"Dancing With The Stars" Dances With Truth

So you think all those performances on "Dancing with the Stars" are arranged by the professional dancers, like Cheryl Burke ... think again, people.

Our spies -- and they're unimpeachable -- tell us many of the routines are arranged by outside choreographers, especially when it comes to the "younger, less experienced" professional dancers, like Burke, Kym Johnson, Derek Hough, and his sis Julianne.

The show makes it appear as if the professional partners create all the moves for the celeb contestants -- but that's just not the case. All that rehearsal video is a little deceptive -- we're just sayin'.

One source says, "Cheryl Burke is the worst" when it comes to arranging her own material. She relies heavily on outside help.

BTdubs, we shot video of Cheryl Burke with one of the professional choreographers -- Wendy Johnson -- outside an L.A. restaurant. We're told Wendy worked on the dance that won Drew Lachey the cheesy trophy.

For the record, Cheryl's rep says any insinuation that she gets outside help is a "blatant lie," adding that Wendy Johnson is a good friend of Cheryl's -- she's known her since she was 11 or 12-years-old. Also, the rep says, Cheryl "spends Tuesday night choreographing her routines in her apartment."

An ABC source says it's not against the rules for the dancers to use outside help.

Last night, Simon Cowell lashed out at someone after David Archuleta's performance, and we know who.

A well-placed TMZ spy tells us Simon went after David's dad, Jeff, for the kid's song, "You're the Voice" by John Farnham. Simon said, "I don't think that is you at all and I'd be amazed if you chose the song yourself." Our spy says Simon was blaming the fiasco on daddy dearest, adding, "It's exactly where the gun was being aimed."

As TMZ first reported, Jeff Archuleta is the ultimate nightmare stage dad who was so bad when David was a contestant on "Star Search" he got banned from the lot.

Almost no one even heard of the song David sang. Simon said it sounded like David was singing something at a theme park -- which would make Daddy Jeff a real Dumbo.

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. These divine creations recently graced the runways at fashion shows around the world.

Coming to a mall near you ... never.

The paparazzi got into it with the LAPD last night after police cuffed a photog for stepping off the sidewalk -- a death penalty offense in 34 states.

Photogs started screaming at the cops, yelling things like "What about DUIs?" and "We're arresting people for jaywalking now?" The pap was not booked.

BTdub -- the whole thing went down across the street from Eva Longoria's new restaurant, Beso.

Just one week after her nude pics were "leaked" on the Internet, Audrina Patridge has gone from nobody the brunette on "The Hills" to stripping Pussycat Doll. Another skank is born!

Now that everyone knows what kind of girl she really is, Audrina is getting top billing -- and around $5k -- to take her clothes off with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas on Friday. We're told her peeps have been working overtime to pimp her out hardcore to cash in on her new found notoriety. Just a few months ago, 'Drina couldn't get into Hyde -- now she's getting paid to host a night at PURE and drink for free in a VIP booth. Dontcha wish your naked pics were hot like hers!

Looks like Audrina is taking a page straight from the Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian Hollywood Handbook -- and her sex tape hasn't even surfaced yet!

Her rep tells us she's not performing, just introducing the Dolls onstage. The rep adds, for the record, this gig was locked in way before the nudie pics surfaced.

We now know that Barack and Hillary and the Jolie-Pitts are related (9th cousins or whatever) and through the genius of our buddy David at PrettyOnTheOutside, here's an intimate peek at their family photo album.

Screw fixing the economy, those are the hottest presidential nominees since, well, ever! We dig the highlights.