Michael Jackson Wants Me
Published
Michael Jackson is after me, and I'm none too happy. Apparently I'm on some kind of witness list in a lawsuit against Jackson, filed by his former business partner and gay porn kingpin Mark Schaffel.
Schaffel claims that Jackson aced him out of millions. He should get in line, because Jackson has been accused of that misdeed by others in the past.
I'm not sure why Jackson wants me as his witness, but I am really upset that his lawyer is harassing me.
The guy has called me before and left messages asking me to speak with him. Last I checked, this is America and if I don't want to talk to him I don't have to. So on Saturday morning, my home phone rings and it's none other than Jackson's lawyer. I asked him how he got my unpublished number and he said he had hired a private investigator to hunt me down.
I ended the call quickly and sternly. Apparently, this guy hasn't learned the fine art of winning people over. What a perfect fit for M.J.
By the way, if the lawyer is reading this, don't call me. If I want, I'll call you.