TMZ's 'Lost' Diary: War is Brewing
It's 'Lost' time again and I have no problem admitting that it is the highpoint of my week. I'm gathered at my friend Ari's house with the usual crew: Lauren, Matt, and Jaimee (back from a little hiatus). Lauren has made us all turn off our cell phones and has even gone so far as to confiscate Jaimee's. We don't call her the "Lost Nazi" for no reason.
On with the show...
9:01 - It's Jack flashback time. So, what are the odds Jack fixes the Italian guy? We've got three votes for death, one for cure. I am going for death.
9:03 - Hey remember last week when I said Michael would go crazy with the guns? Yeah it's happening. Not a tough prediction.
9:07 Locke and Jack, locked in a closet... you can cut the sexual tension with a knife.
9:08 - New rule: Evangeline Lilly has to wear a tank top at all times. Is there a guy on the island she doesn't flirt with?
9:09 - Lauren wants to make a sandwich out of Jack and Sawyer. We all watch 'Lost' for different reasons, I guess.
9:11 - Odds Jack sleeps with the sick guy's daughter? I say 50/50, everyone else has it as a lock.
9:13 - Another new rule: more Julie Bowen. This feels like the episode where we'll find out why Jack isn't married any longer.
9:14 - When your wife tells you that she might be pregnant, I think you're supposed to look like you actually want her to be pregnant.
9:18 - Lauren is thiiiiiiiis close to throwing her panties at the TV the next time Saywer comes on screen.
9:18 - "There's my favorite leaf," Sawyer just said. We have our first nominee for Line of the Night.
9:19 - Aren't Jin and Sun just the best? Jin has done a complete 180 this season. It's great to see Sun stand up for herself.
9:21 - "Where you goin' Jack?" Locke asks. Can't he just ask a straight question like the rest of us? He's like a taller version of Yoda.
9:24 - Even Jack's dad thinks Jack will tag the hot Italian chick.
9:25 - Ok, now Sawyer just called Locke "Mr. Clean." Sawyer is just full of good lines tonight. He also added, "All you need is the earring and the mop."
9:26 - Why is it that Jack always admonishes anyone who does anything remotely reckless... but when he goes running towards gunshots it's totally ok? His "holier than thou" schtick is growing old.
9:31 - Italian guy died. Saw that coming. And now the Italian chick took off. Thought he was sleeping with her.
9:32 - Wait a minute... THERE SHE IS!!! And her name is Gabriella. And she's crying. Here let Dr. Jack console you.... Ah yeah, there we go. No Jack, don't leave. Please for our sake!!! DAMN YOU!!!
9:34 - Guy from the boat!! Guy from the boat!! OTHER!!! OTHER!!!
9:40 - So the Other guy just wants to sit around the campfire and chat. Sounds like a good time.
9:42 - Hurley wants to get on Libby. "She's cute in an 'I've been terrorized by the Others for 40 days' kind of way."
9:43 - Uh oh, Kate is on trail. That should be interesting.
9:44 - 50 days have passed. I like how every few episodes they find a way to slip in how many days they have been on the island.
9:45 - Jack's laughing at an Other, and now he's taunting him. Bad idea.
9:45 - And on cue, 12 torches light up and Jack and company are surrounded by Others. In an odd way, that was the scariest thing the show has done so far.
9:46 - Bearded Other Guy draws a proverbial line in the sand. Jaimee points out that the dad did the same thing with Jack and the hot Italian woman. Apparently Jack doesn't like to be told what he can and cannot do.
9:47 - Yup, the Others have Kate. I half hope they shoot her. I like a show that isn't afraid to kill off main characters. It's the one thing that ruins '24' -- you know Jack Bauer will never die.
9:53 - Quote of the night from the peanut gallery: Lauren -- "Rewind, I didn't read what he said." Subtitles are cool.
9:54 - Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Locke are doing the walk of shame as Kate apologizes for screwing everything up. Kate is a total tease.
9:55 - Like the good boy scout, Jack comes clean about kissing the hot Italian chick. And now she's leaving him and she's been getting some on the side. He should have just slept with the Italian chick.
9:56 - Ari just called Jack's wife a word I can't type. But it's the one thing you NEVER call a woman.
9:58 - "See ya James," Locke -- new line of the night.
9:59 - Ana Lucia is back. She hasn't been a bitch this whole episode. OK, so she wasn't in it until now, but that's two episodes in a row.
10:00 - "How long do you think it would take to train an army?" -- NOW THAT'S THE LINE OF THE NIGHT!!!
OK, I don't even know where to begin. What do the Others want? Who was the "Alex" that Bearded Other Guy summoned to bring Kate over -- French woman's daughter, maybe? Who did Jack's wife cheat on him with -- Desmond, perhaps? Why didn't Jack bring Ana Lucia and Sayid along to find Mike -- you know, the cop and the trained solider? This was definitely my favorite episode in a long time.
See you next week...